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Kevin Koplar
Major: English
Minor: Music and Psychology
I grew up in the Tibetan mountain ranges where I was raised and nursed by mountain lions. I was taught to roam and hunt for food, a process that I did with careful diligence and noble tactics. Throughout all this sneaking and attacking, I was eventually captured by humans, who tried to convince me that I was of their kind. After a lengthy house training seminar, I learned general acceptance of human beings although I refused to admit that I was one. They even taught me to Sherpa in order to earn local treasures. One night after an intensely spiritual pow-wow with our neighboring villages, I was poisoned and brought to America. I woke up in an empty New York apartment with nothing but a guitar, a gun, and a gallon of whisky. I spent countless nights roaming the city streets and capturing natives (they wear these strange 2 piece outfits, carry "briefcases", and they all look alike and speak like idiots). I was eventually forced out of the city after countless bouts with the law, and I headed midwest, where I ended up in "Saint Louis". After drowining in the Missisippi river, I reawoke in Barnes Jewish hospital as a newborn child in west Saint Louis suburbia. WTF. I now major in English, minor in Music and Psychology. I write songs because it feels like another part of me...
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